Tips to navigate Eating Disorder Recovery during the Lunar New Year
What is Lunar New Year?
For many Chinese people around the world, the Lunar New Year is the most important and most festive holiday of the year.
You may have noticed that Lunar New Year is never on 1st of January, and that it falls on different dates each year. That’s because the date of Lunar New Year is determined by the Chinese lunar calendar, which is 21–51 days behind the Gregorian (international) calendar date. Lunar New Year will fall anywhere between the 21st January and 20th February, and the first day of celebrations starts with the first new moon and ends on the first full moon of the Lunar calendar.
Generally, celebrations span around 15 days (from new moon to full moon), but the duration and ways of celebrating vary between cultures, religions, and geographical areas. This is the calendar traditionally used in many East Asian countries including China, Vietnam, Singapore and South Korea.
Significance of Lunar New Year
The importance of this festival is rooted deep in history, and still remains the most important occasion for generations of families to reunite and spend time together even today. As many Chinese families may be separated due to career choices, education opportunities, and general urbanization, this festival serves as the prime opportunity for everyone to gather.
Lunar New Year is seen as a time of change and new beginnings. Most activities during this festival symbolise getting rid of the old and welcoming the new.
Traditional Activities during Lunar New Year
Lunar New Year usually kicks off with a family feast that people travel far and wide to participate in with their loved ones. There are quite a few traditional foods eaten during the holiday such as dumplings, spring rolls, noodles, mandarins, or 年糕 (Nian Gao, a traditional Chinese rice cake).
A family may visit temples or churches to offer prayers and participate in New Year’s Day festivities. Community centres may host lion dances along with performances of traditional music or martial arts.
The next days are spent visiting relatives and friends, followed by a big feast of traditional Asian food mentioned above. During this time, red envelopes of ‘lucky money’ are exchanged with a spoken wish for health and prosperity for the New Year, and gratitude for help in previous years.
While this festival is known to be a joyous and wonderful occasion, it can bring about emotions of fear and anxiety for individuals struggling with eating disorders. Here are some of the common parts of the Lunar New Year preparation and celebration that could be challenging, and some tips on how to cope during this festive season.
A Guide on How to Cope with Lunar New Year difficulties during Eating Disorder Recovery
Challenge 1: Participating in family meals
Lunar New Year is a wonderful time of giving thanks, of family and friends, celebrating tradition and heritage, and inevitably, it is also a holiday based heavily around food. It is often marked by families reuniting and sharing stories over a banquet of food. However, these meals can be terrifying and overwhelming, especially for someone struggling with an eating disorder, as their relationship to food is generally distorted.
In the Asian culture, sharing food that abounds during Lunar New Year is more than just nourishment; it is also to share love, respect, and gratitude. The special cultural foods of the festival are eagerly awaited and hold a dear place in the one making them. Turning down an offered plate of food is to turn away the deep love, respect, and warmth that went into preparing the food. For someone with an eating disorder, this is not only terrifying but also incites great pressure and stress.
Tips to cope
● Discuss anticipated holiday triggers
Identifying potential stressors and triggers before a family gathering is a good way to avoid engaging in eating disorder habits. Write this down or share it with someone you trust. Being mentally prepared may alleviate feelings of anxiety and prevent practicing unhelpful behaviours and thoughts.
● Keep your normal eating routine
If you are on a meal plan, try your best to follow it as closely as you can, just like you would on any other regular day. If you are currently in treatment, talk to your providers and create a plan that feels manageable for you during this time of the year. The ability to be flexible, especially during special events, is a great way to challenge eating disorders. Remember, your treatment team can be your biggest cheerleaders!
● Practicing self-care
One of the most important things you can do during the holiday season is to practice self-care. While stepping out of your comfort zone and attending social gatherings is brave, you also need time to unwind and ground yourself. Be gentle and engage in things that help you feel safe/happy leading up to and after meal times.
Remember, self-care looks different for everyone. Ask yourself, “What helps me feel the most grounded and the least triggered?” Be flexible and allow yourself to do what you need to do, when you need to do it. Practicing self-care also means being compassionate and forgiving with yourself.
Some examples of self-care could be: Your favourite movie under fluffy blankets, working on an art project, playing a board game, listening to a podcast or your favourite playlist, hanging out with your pet, or journaling/reaching out to someone you trust to process emotions.
● Pace yourself, do not overcommit to social gatherings
Although we can feel guilty about saying no or leaving a social gathering early, keep your focus recovery-oriented. That’s more important than anything else. Saying no when you genuinely need a break is a great way to practice self-care.
Challenge 2: Buying new clothes
It is a common tradition to buy new clothes to wear for Lunar New Year, as it symbolises a new start for a new year. Going shopping for clothes can be particularly stressful for someone struggling with an eating disorder, and even overwhelming.
The eating disorder may use certain clothing items as a way to “body check”,and when clothes don’t fit or when it suddenly feels like this size may be getting “too small” or “too tight,” this may trigger panic and anxiety.
Tips to cope
● Clean out your wardrobe
It is common to keep old clothes to body check or measure weight gain - this is one of the ways in which the eating disorder keeps you under its control. Hanging on to these items only makes recovery more difficult and challenging. Determine what items no longer fit or may have been used as part of the eating disorder, and let them go. Letting go of these items will give you a fresh start in moving forward. Gather these items and consider donating them. Having a closet clean out can feel incredibly liberating and help you be motivated to shop for new items.
● Comfort over size
Typically in eating disorders, clothes are often chosen based on size. Only purchase items that make you feel good and comfortable, without necessarily judging based on size. When clothes are too tight, it can be a trigger when you wear them. Asking questions such as, “Is it comfortable?” or “Does it feel good?” will shift the focus on comfort rather than size.
● Bring support
Shopping alone can be triggering and bring up unexpected challenges. Consider making a list of friends, family, or professionals that you can reach out to if you find yourself considering using eating disordered behaviors or other maladaptive coping skills. If possible, bring a trusted friend, family member, or mentor who understands where you are in your recovery. Talk to them and share your feelings and thoughts as you are shopping.
Challenge 3: Dealing with diet and weight-centered comments
No matter your view on the holiday, many can expect the bombardment of body and weight-centred comments from family and relatives, especially if they haven’t seen you in a while. Although usually not intended to hurt the recipient, some of these comments might still be hurtful and appear judgmental, especially for someone struggling with negative body image or an eating disorder.
Tips to cope
● Deflect the conversation
Once a year family reunions will mean seeing people who may not understand your eating disorder and might engage in diet/weight-related talk or asking uncomfortable questions. If the conversation becomes uncomfortable, try changing it to something less threatening. An example of responses could be: “Can we talk about something more meaningful?” or “How’s your dog?”
● Avoid responding to unpleasant comments
If deflecting does not work, sometimes simply being honest and saying “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this right now” with a polite smile could be an option. Minimal or no response is one of the most effective ways to end an uncomfortable conversation, and hopefully will serve as a signal that such comments are not welcomed.
● Remove yourself from the situation
It is important to step out of a conversation that drains you. If the hurtful comments become too personal or repetitive, remind yourself that you do not have to endure this.
Take time-outs for yourself to breathe and refocus your thoughts. Excuse yourself by saying you need to join another person for a chat, or simply enjoy your own solitary time while visiting.
We hope this article was helpful in understanding the significant difficulties faced by those who suffer from eating disorders at this season of the year. If you celebrate the Lunar New Year and feel overwhelmed, please remember you are not alone! You are dealing with a tough situation and are working hard towards recovery. You deserve to be proud of yourself.
Although these tips highlight some approaches one can take to help cope, it cannot take the place of the benefits of working with a therapist, dietitian and a GP that will provide personalized advice and care in your recovery journey. It is important to work alongside a treatment team or support system on aspects that you find most challenging. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help!
Below are some useful resources, helplines and support services available online:
Inside Out Institute for Eating Disorders support for patients, carers or health professionals
Centre for Clinical Interventions free self-help resources for Eating Disorders
And most importantly: fighting to take control back from the eating disorder is worth it, so that you canagain truly enjoy the connection, gratitude, and festivities of Lunar New Year with family and loved ones.
